


Surviving Might Be The Worst Option

by Very_Anxious_Bean



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: A Bit Not Good, Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Apocalypse, Alternate Universe - Creatures & Monsters, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Angst, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders is a Little Shit, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders-centric, Bad Decisions, Blood, Blood and Gore, Blood and Injury, Character Death, Child Death, Death, Emotional Hurt, Gen, Guns, Human, Human Sides (Sanders Sides), Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Infection, Injury, Inspired By Tumblr, Kid Thomas Sanders, Masks, Minor Original Character(s), Monsters, No Fluff, Not Beta Read, Not Happy, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Third Person, POV Third Person Limited, Prompt Fill, Sad, Sad Ending, Shooting, Shooting Guns, Short, Short Chapters, Suicide, Swearing, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, Time Skips, Unsympathetic Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Work In Progress, Zombie Apocalypse, Zombies, infected wounds, lil bit, lowkey, no beta we die like men, sorry I got lazy with the whole thing lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:28:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 3,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26490418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Very_Anxious_Bean/pseuds/Very_Anxious_Bean
Summary: It's The After and they were a group of seven.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Everyone, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Everyone, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Everyone, Deceit | Janus Sanders & Everyone, Logic | Logan Sanders & Everyone, Morality | Patton Sanders & Everyone
Comments: 7
Kudos: 15





	1. Mask Up

**Author's Note:**

> Please read the tags and be cautious! This is a WIP and the tags will be updated until this is finished :)

Virgil was glad he raided the stores for masks when everything went to shit. The ones with filters if they could get them- and they had been lucky enough to get two. They had gotten three regular masks that weren’t dirty. 

Thomas took a mask Virgil practically shoved in his face, refusing to let “the baby” get ill.

Patton had said that Virgil and Janus should wear the masks with the filters- Virgil had been the one looking for them and Janus often got sick- and gave his up for Logan to have.

Roman gave his mask to Remus, claiming that he would never get sick. He promised to use his red scarf instead. 

That didn’t go well.

It started with Patton and the smell of something sweet.

“Like candy floss!” he had said with a grin, purposely stepping on leaves to hear them crunch. “Gosh, I do miss sweets. What do you kiddos miss?”

“Libraries.” Logan amused Patton. “I miss being at the library and having some peace and quiet.”

“Oh, I didn’t do that often. It does seem nice, though!” Patton had gone pale and supposedly tripped on a branch, the wood snapping loudly in the mostly-quiet forest. 

A screech was heard and they all froze. A tall figure stumbled by them, the smell of rot wafting off its black skin. It stared at their group with white eyes for a moment, and Virgil was afraid it could sense they were in front of it. 

It passed them and they continued, much more quietly than before. 

A few days later, Patton started spitting up blood. He comforted Thomas until he couldn’t stop choking.

Thomas had been distracted by Janus when Patton was suddenly quiet.

Roman soon mentioned their small campsite somehow smelled like chocolate, fiddling with the end of his scarf that was wrapped around his face. 

Logan, a week after Patton passed and while Roman was gasping for air, clinging to Remus and crying, had spoken his thoughts. 

“There could be some kind of pollen,” he said while Thomas burrowed into his side, “that enters through the mouth and nose to destroy you on the inside. Maybe it starts with the scent of something sweet and you get worse until…” 

“Until you die,” Remus finished for him. Roman was limp in his arms. 

Logan hugged Thomas tighter when the kid whimpered. “Until you die,” he agreed quietly.


	2. Deep Water

Virgil had given Thomas very clear instructions to not go near the pond while he and Logan talked about where to go next. He had trusted Thomas- newly ten-years-old- to stand in place while Janus and Remus checked out a nearby shed.

Virgil didn’t know what to expect from a kid, but the world had been bad for two years now and he ignored the voice screaming about how something was wrong. 

He should have listened to his instincts, even if Remus had been injured the last time he did.

Thomas wouldn’t have been screaming and caught by a rotting monster if Virgil listened to himself. 

It was a shock how stupid Virgil could be, sometimes. (He thinks about how Patton would physically fight him and Roman would scoff and tell him to not be emo.)

Thomas’ small arm was caught in a half-rotted hand, the nails-that-were-practically-claws drawing blood and pulling Thomas into the water. 

Virgil ran, wrapping his arms around Thomas’ torso and ripping him from the rotting grasp, tearing the flesh apart and making Thomas wail while blood poured from the open wounds. Logan killed the monster as Virgil shook Thomas, yelling about how could he be so stupid.

Thomas screamed back about how he only wanted to soothe his dry and scratchy throat, he was only going to take a few handfuls of the lake water and run back to the adults. He didn’t expect the half-dead monster to grab his arm and nearly pull him under.

Black veins already crept up his arm and to his shoulder, nearly reaching his throat in the few short minutes that Thomas’ arm was ripped to shreds. The arm was barely holding itself together by sinew, the bone visible and muscles falling apart as red covered all the pale skin. 

Janus and Remus had reached them by the time Logan was behind Thomas and subtly pulling out his hunting knife. 

Remus dragged Virgil away, getting a black eye when the smaller man lashed out, as Janus comforted Thomas about how he’d be fine. 

Thomas believed him, holding Janus’ hands with tears in his eyes. His last sound was cut-off laughter at a joke. 

Logan couldn’t meet anyone’s eyes as he gently shut Thomas’ eyes. “We don’t know what’s in deep water. We will stick to fast streams from now on.” 

Virgil never forgave Janus and Remus for not coming back sooner, and especially Janus for lying to Thomas and saying he would be okay.

“What did you want from me, Virgil?” Janus growled. “To tell Thomas- a kid- he was going to be killed?” 

Virgil looked Janus dead in the eyes and said, “Anything but he was ‘going to be fine and we’ll have a special storytime later.’”


	3. Asked For The Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not the best chapter, sorry about that lol

The small settlement had been suspicious with all the smiling faces and cheery voices, but they were desperate to have an actual room to sleep in for the night.

They practically begged to be let in- just for the night.

“Well,” a woman said kindly. “Since you asked.”

She led them to a room the four of them would be in. “I’m afraid you can’t stay for long. We’ve got all these hungry mouths to feed already.” 

“Thank you for your hospitality,” Logan said for them. He narrowed his eyes at the way Janus flopped onto a bed. “We’re sorry to be a bother.” 

The woman only smiled. 

The door to their room had burst open during the night and let a flood of monsters into their room. 

Remus had been the one to use a table as a shield while the others crawled through a narrow window that had been shattered since it was locked. 

Janus had to scream at Remus to make him crawl through the window and get out. He held onto the man's wrist as they ran, taking in the tearful eyes and comforting him silently. 

They all saw Remus had a red scarf (it seemed familiar-) he didn’t have before. 

Logan had a cut on his calf and assured Virgil and Janus that it was from a glass shard and would clean it as soon as he could.

“Guys,” Remus said as they ran. “I swear I saw-”

“Remus, no one we knew was there,” Virgil snapped. 

Remus scowled. “I-”

“It doesn’t fucking matter, Remus!” Virgil glared at the man. “It was just your imagination. Get over yourself and fucking move on.”

No one said anything after that.

While they were running away from the small settlement, they could hear the woman screaming. 

“I’VE GOT SO MANY HUNGRY MOUTHS! COME BACK!”

Remus laughed.

It sounded like a cry.


	4. The Birds

"We're running low on food," Logan said, digging through his backpack. "I doubt any of you have somehow found enough to last us another week."

Virgil huffed. 

"So what should we do?" Janus watched the sunrise, his bag used as a pillow. 

Logan closed his backpack and glanced around. "Maybe there are some berries around we could eat. Perhaps-"

"What about the birds?" Remus asked. 

"There haven't been any birds around for months, Remus."

"The new ones." 

Virgil grimaced. "They smell like tar and don't even look healthy."

Remus looked at the clouds, fiddling with a red scarf wrapped around his neck. 

"He ate the bird," Janus said. 

"Now isn't time for you and your stupid bullshit." Virgil glanced up from his book and paused at Janus' frown. "What-"

"It's why he's been coughing up blood. His throat is fucked- he can't even talk anymore."

Virgil shot up and threw the door to the abandoned cabin open, finding Logan kneeling by Remus. 

"Remus, you idiot."

Remus gave a grin and thumbs up, blood trickling down his mouth when Virgil smacked him upside the head.

“I can’t believe you ate one of those fucking birds! Raw!” Virgil sneered at the remains of the bird on the ground, the blood nearly black and sticky. 

“There are no hospitals around to treat you, did you forget that?” Virgil snapped. “You’re going to fucking die.” 

Remus only shrugged, wiping away the blood on his face with his sleeve. The specks that dropped onto the scarf was barely visibly with the nearly-matching red cloth. 

Virgil stared at the now-familiar black veins creeping up Remus’ skin. He fiddled with his hoodie strings, ignoring the dirt and dried blood. 

"You're going to die," Virgil repeated. 

Remus winked. 

Virgil clenched his jaw and let Logan grab his arm and pull him out of the room, the silver of Janus' knife catching the little sunlight remaining. 

Janus walked out after a moment, the knife in his loose grip. "I can't."

Virgil pursed his lips. "We have to."

"Then you do it."

No one moved. 

"I think he started acting weird-” Janus ignored Virgil’s dry laugh- “when we nearly died at that one place a few weeks ago," he said, sheathing his knife. "When he got the red scarf." 

"Possibly." Logan stood up. "We should rest. Put a chair under the handle, Virgil."

Virgil glanced at the door before dragging a chair to the door, looking at the wood and apologising silently to the man on the other side.


	5. Nighttime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up that this is chapter is a bit graphic in a short part of it.

The ticking of a stopwatch was and wasn’t a foreign sound after four years of The After. 

Logan used to have one and the twins would make him time their competitions and had been a fond sound. 

Now it made them all freeze in spot and not make a sound as the creatures passed by, their tall, lanky shadows nearby. 

They couldn’t do anything when Remus fell, crashing into a pile of twigs and alarming the creatures of his presence. 

One of them stepped forward, its flesh brushing against Virgil's nose. 

The rest of them lunged at Remus. 

Virgil trembled as Remus screamed, eventually the screaming was replaced with a guttural choking, flesh wetly being ripped apart and bones being crunched. 

One creature was still by Virgil. He hardly breathed as the creature ticked, its blank white eyes staring at Janus and Logan. It tilted his head. 

Blood dripped onto Virgil’s hoodie, staining it even more, and he forced himself to swallow the bile burning his throat. 

Janus and Logan were silent the whole time. 

Virgil never knew Janus was crying.

There was no time for that as a pack of the monsters roamed around in the same area until the sun started rising, making them wail and go into hiding for the day.

Logan had to half-carry Janus for the rest of the day when they saw Remus; a bloody pile of cracked or snapped bones with some flesh clinging to it and a single red-rimmed eyeball staring blankly at the sky. 

Janus glanced up, saw the red on Virgil’s face and clothes, and threw up.


	6. Be Faster And Get Away

Virgil nearly laughed when they found a gun in an abandoned liquor store. After four years of running from creatures and cutting limbs only when they got too close for comfort, they could maybe have a better chance at injuring their limbs from a farther distance. 

It was the only time they could outrun the things. They had to do that or hide, and there weren't many places they could successfully hide.

Virgil’s heart dropped when he checked the magazine.

Two bullets. 

If they were to go by a rule made a year ago, there aren’t enough bullets to use on the monsters. If Virgil was selfish enough, there would only be one bullet to spare.

Virgil cursed as he hopped over the rotting wood surface, kneeling and digging through the space under the counter. He flinched when Janus was suddenly in his face, reaching for his knife.

“I see you found something interesting.” Janus eyed the gun Virgil was holding.

“What?”

“The gun. We should probably give it to Logan since he’s the smart one.” Janus’ lips curled up wryly. “Never know what we’d do in a… _dire_ situation.” 

Virgil scoffed. “You’re the selfish one.” 

“Sure. Me. The selfish one. Put your fucking knife away, you idiot.” 

“What are you two discussing?” Logan set his bag on the counter, making Virgil and Janus jump. 

“Nothing,” they said in unison. 

Logan deadpanned. 

“So, what did you get?” Virgil's eyes lit up at the sight of a small box with ammo in it. He shoved it in his bag and stood up, rolling his eyes at Janus’ smirk. 

“Whiskey.” 

Janus’ eyebrows shot up. “Didn’t take you for a drinker in the apocalypse.” 

Logan frowned. “Whiskey can be used as a disinfectant in emergencies.”

Janus reached for the whiskey, mock offence on his face when Logan smacked it away.

Virgil snickered.

The window shattered, a twisted creature falling though it and landing behind Virgil. It scuttled to its feet and reached for him, fingers brushing against the fabric of his hoodie as the man leapt over the counter. 

“Fuck, fuck, oh shit, oh fuck-” Virgil screamed when he was yanked back, back slamming into the surface of the counter and his bag catching on a stool. He crashed to the floor without it- he would really like to have the gun now, please and thank you- and he could feel the bruises start forming. 

The creature loomed over him, bones sticking out of its greying flesh and blindingly white teeth showing in its grin. 

“Oh, fuck me.” Virgil scurried backwards, kicking out at the monster when it got too close.

“VIRGIL, GET UP OFF YOUR ASS!” Janus yelled. He had Virgil’s bag over his shoulder, the gun aimed for the creature. 

Virgil scowled, scrambling to his feet only for the monster to grab his ankle and drag him back down. “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WAITING FOR?” 

Janus muttered something and did not shoot. 

Logan grabbed an empty bottle from a nearby table and jumped over the counter, stabbing the monster’s neck before grabbing Virgil by his arm and dragging him away. 

The creature chased them out of the liquor shop, lunging forward and grabbing Logan by his calf. Its sharp nails tore through the jeans and into his skin, pulling Logan down and towards it.

Virgil dug though his bag that was still on Janus’ shoulder and shot the monster in its thigh as it started dragging a kicking Logan away.

It collapsed to the ground and Logan stomped on its face.

The bones crunching was loud and eventually, it let go of Logan.

The three sprinted away.


	7. Black And White Isn't Good

“I see the whiskey didn’t do as good of a job as you hoped it would,” Virgil said as he observed the wound on Logan’s leg. 

“I said it would be an efficient disinfectant, not antiseptic. There is a difference. Diluted bleach would have been good enough to use as an antiseptic.” 

“Yeah, well…” Virgil grimaced at the white sores and black veins along the cut, some pus leaking out of the open wound. He tightened the belt above Logan’s knee. He held out the whiskey bottle to Logan, laughing dryly. “Bottoms up.” 

Logan hummed and took the bottle.

“... Are you sure this is a good idea, Logan?”

Logan sighed, looking at the infected wound. “It’ll buy me a few more days, at least,” he murmured. 

Virgil nodded grimly, lips pursed. He glanced up when Janus walked in with a large knife and match, got up, and said, “Best of luck,” before exiting and closing the door behind him.

One thing he missed from before the apocalypse was his noise-cancelling headphones.

If he had picked them up when he was fleeing from his apartment years ago, maybe he wouldn’t be haunted by Logan’s muffled screams. 

Janus walked out pale and shaky after a few hours, Logan having gone quiet a few minutes after he started screaming. 

Virgil watched Janus throw Logan’s bloody leg as far as he could, away from them. “How is he?” 

“Unconscious, pale, and alive.” Janus sat next to Virgil, resting his head on the wall. “He passed out in five minutes.”

“Better than him being awake the whole time.” 

Janus hummed. After a moment of silence, he said, “Damn. I wish I had some cigarettes.” 

Virgil chuckled. “Guess we can’t always have what we want.”

“I don’t know if he’ll make it. He might go into shock or something, or maybe it’ll get infected again. I just- I don’t fucking know what to do. I never practised medicine or anything. The worst that happened to me was a broken collarbone when I was seven.”

“Google it,” Virgil said, pausing and then groaning and smacking himself. 

“We- we don’t have fucking Google, Virgil.” 

“No shit.” 

“You said it!”

“I _know_!”

Janus groaned and flopped onto his side. “How the fuck we’re alive is a damn mystery.” 

Virgil smiled wryly. “Damn right.”


	8. Knock, Knock

Janus and Virgil jerked awake when something slammed against the door, fortunately not strong enough to open it. 

Janus scrambled to his feet, cursing as he pulled his knife out of its sheath. 

Two knocks were heard- deadly quiet compared to the banging the two men woke up to.

Virgil watched the door as he quietly gathered his things, shoving them into his bag as quickly as he could. 

"We need Logan's bag," Janus whispered. 

"You- you didn't get it before?" 

Another two knocks, more insistent this time.

Janus glanced at the door. "Clearly." 

"What the fuck."

"You didn't grab the bag either."

Virgil scowled, reaching into his bag and pulling out the gun they got a week ago. "Do you think shooting them in the head will work?"

Two thumps on the door.

"... Maybe."

"Helpful." 

They flinched away from the door when it shook again. They took a few more steps back when there were, again, two knocks. 

They were silent for a long moment.

"Well,” Virgil said dryly, “there goes our hope for Logan." 

Janus huffed. He watched Virgil's hand hover over the door handle for a moment before quietly turning it and opening the door. 

Virgil immediately saw Logan's bag.

Right next to Logan himself. Logan, with half of his skin black and rotting, tilted his head. 

There was a ticking sound. 

Virgil hated how small the room was. 

Janus looked over Virgil's shoulder, digging his short fingernails into his arms when he saw Logan. He glanced at the bag next to the man- or thing. It wasn't Logan anymore.

Virgil aimed the gun, keeping it pointed at the head. He crept forward until he could reach the bag. He was one step forward from running into Logan. 

His finger was rested on the side of the gun when Logan shifted forward. 

It bumped into Virgil's foot. 

"You idiot-!" Janus leapt forward, grabbing the back of Virgil's hoodie and yanking them both back as Logan screeched and reached for them. 

The momentum slammed Janus into the floor while Virgil stumbled out of the room. He could hear Virgil cursing as he gained his footing. 

Logan crawled up Janus' body, black creeping on the remaining skin. It screeched again, fingers wrapping around his neck, blunt fingernails leaving pricks of pain. 

Janus punched Logan, kicking it in the ribs and shoving it away. He snatched the bag from where it was and ran out, slamming the door shut.

He grabbed Virgil by the wrist and ran, ignoring the rapidly-repeating two thumps.


	9. A Light I See

"Your eye isn't looking so good,” Virgil panted out. 

Janus stumbled, leaning against a tree. "I'm sure it's fine, Virgil." He could still hear the screeching clicks- they need to keep going.

If Virgil would ever _listen to him _.__

__The man scowled. "Sure, because if it was 'fine' then you wouldn't hide it."_ _

__"I wasn't hiding it."_ _

__"You literally look at me! Just so I couldn't see your fucking eye!"_ _

__Janus' eye twitched when it stung. "You would panic, Virgil!"_ _

__"I would not-"_ _

__"You're doing it right now! And you still need to go-"_ _

__Virgil scoffed. "Fuck you. _Fuck you_. You’ve been seeing these weird-ass lights for days and your eye itself looks like its own goddamn nightmare-"_ _

__Janus scowled at Virgil. "It'll be fine."_ _

__"Yeah, sure. Say that when we're scooping out your eye with a dirty spoon."_ _

__“Virgil, we need to keep going-”_ _

__“I fucking agree. Come one.” Virgil grabbed Janus, firmly holding onto his wrist as they ran. “You’re the last one I got- you’re sticking around. I won’t let you leave.”_ _

__“Ha. I thought you hated me.”_ _

__Virgil didn’t respond._ _

__

__"You know what would be great?" Virgil asked as he went through cabinets in the abandoned kitchen._ _

__"What?" Janus eyed the strange light in the corner of his eye._ _

__"If your eye didn't get fucking infected."_ _

__"Yeah, well, it's only going to get worse."_ _

__Virgil opened his mouth-_ _

__"Yes even if we removed it. You really think I would survive with neither of us having any medical training?"_ _

__Virgil shut his mouth._ _

__“Exactly.” Janus zipped his bag shut and pushed it to Virgil. “Take that and go.”_ _

__“It- it’s nighttime.”_ _

__“Which means you’ll make it farther than me if you’re quiet enough. You’ve got a gun and two knives-” Janus pulled out a knife from his pocket- “since I’m keeping one for myself.”_ _

__“Janus-”_ _

__“ _Virgil_.”_ _

__“That horde is still coming this way, they’re going to find you.”_ _

__Janus’ eyes fluttered shut as blinding white filled the left half of his sight. “I’ve got it under my control. So, go.”_ _

__“Janus, I can fucking carry you-”_ _

__“No.”_ _

__“Fuck you.”_ _

__“Fuck you, too, Virgil.” Janus watched as Virgil managed to carry both bags comfortably and started to run with only one last sad glance._ _

__The door slammed shut behind the man and the screeches were loud again. The creatures began slamming against the walls of the old house._ _

__Janus smiled bitterly and pressed the knife to his throat._ _


	10. One For Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this one's the shortest chapter, which is saying something because literally all of the chapters are short-

Virgil should have known he wouldn’t have been lucky enough to get away with no problem. 

He left Janus behind- alone with monsters- for no reason. 

“‘I can carry you,’” Virgil muttered. “Yeah, but I fucking _didn’t_.” 

The gun clicked softly when he finished loading the magazine and put it back in place. Only one bullet left after he used all the others to shoot at the monsters going after him.

“Damn good rule we all made,” Virgil said to no one. 

He remembered when Logan had randomly handed them good knives and said, “In case of emergency and we can’t get out.” 

They all knew what he meant. 

“If we ever find a gun,” Logan said while they walked on a dirt road, “We need three bullets at all times. Just in case.” 

They all agreed. 

Virgil was glad they did. He turned the safety off right as the monsters started to slam into the windows and walls of the abandoned house he dove into when he ran low on ammunition. 

Virgil glanced around the house- there was a raincoat covered in dust on a chair nearby that he would have taken if he knew he could make it out alive- before pressing the gun to his temple. 

The loud bang echoed through the empty house right as all the windows chattered and the front door slammed open.

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know if I forgot to tag something :))


End file.
